From cubs to scouts tonight.

Out of all the decisions that we have made for our children, sending Celtic Lad and Celtic Dingo to cubs has definately been one of the better ones.

We have been very fortunate in that Arkala works for IHC and has been most understanding and inclusive.  Celtic Lad has had some wonderful opportunities that I believe have boosted his confidence. He has been around some accepting adults and as a result accepting kids.

So as this chapter finishes, and a new one is about to begin, I did what I always do, take photos of the moment and cry.

As we drove away from cubs, Celtic Lad said to me proudly “Is this another step for me in becoming a man?”

Yes, son, yes it is.

The separation and impending divorce.

I said I wouldn’t out of respect for Jock. Don’t air the dirty laundry. Show everyone all the good stuff. There is alot of good stuff going on. Moving forward and all that.

I have been very blessed and fortunate in that, I have some feckin’ amazing friends, a good holistic counsellor and amazing kids. Friends across the ditch that because of a time difference, me awake at 1am is no problem because it’s 11 over there.

I am the little train who could. And I am. Doing what I need to do to get us through this. Because we will. Get through this. There is no other option.

However, this week, I have hit a low. It is hard and it is painful.

This ending to our marriage was not mutual. I say that, not to apportion blame or get people to feel sorry for me. It’s a fact. I wanted to work things out. However, Jock didn’t.  He came home one day and said he didn’t want to be married to me anymore.

I wish I could say, I handled the news with grace. I didn’t. I nutted out. I felt and still feel betrayed.

I had someone say to me that at least he never hit me or was unfaithful. Yep, the consolation prize. Thanks Sandra.

Sometimes, you don’t have to be physically hit to feel like someone’s punching bag.

Right now, it is hard to look at someone I love and know they do not feel the same way. Reality is you can’t force someone to love you.

It is hard to be on half the income with the same outgoings while someone else is buying kids treats galore and being the ‘fun’ parent.

I think it’s unfair that I have all the responsibililty for OUR children while someone else is off doing as he pleases.

It really doesn’t matter that everyone thinks he is going through a mid life crisis. I stayed because I truly believed that one day we would get through the other side. Together. I was prepared to accept his different wiring. I got he didn’t see the world as I did.

It’s been a low week. One of my lowest. Interaction with the children’s father (how I refer to him, as there is no connection anymore between him and I) hasn’t been good.There is a part of me that wishes I could get as FAR away from him as possible. Having him around is painful. I feel powerless. Things that are happening have all been on HIS terms.  I resent this.

I know that this too shall pass. I get that this is part of the process.

But it feckin’ sucks the kumera.

Tomorrow is another day. And it better be good.

I shot and killed my first rabbit.

Turns out the air rifle’s sights were off. Jock fixed them. I have been sitting here each evening watching the widdle vermin as they frolic all over the place with careless abandon. Last night, I quietly got outside, got ‘locked and loaded’ (yeah, gun speak) and took a shot.

I thought I missed, so went back in and didn’t worry about it.

(Ok, what really happened is I was wearing nothing but a sarong, and as I shot the rifle, a gust of wind came and lifted my sarong, and I looked over and my neighbour was within viewing distance and so because I couldn’t see the rabbit, I went inside)

The next morning, the children came to tell me there was a dead rabbit outside. it was about 5 metres from where it was when I shot it. I could feel the bullet just under his skin. I thought about cooking him up, (Rabbit tastes like chicken) but decided against it as it had been outside overnight. However, I decided to skin him and keep the tails and feet. I thought we could dissect him as well.

As always, Google is my friend. I found this **Spoiler Alert** If you are squemish or dislike the thought of shooting rabbits, then do not click.

I put on my blue gloves and got to work. Unfortunately, in the first couple of stabs, I punctured the intestines *gag* *gag*. So we fed him to our pig.

Since then, another 3 rabbits have been shot.

I was woken this morning by a very excited WGO yelling “We have butterflies!! We have butterflies!!! Come see!!

Being the good mother that I am, I jumped out of bed immediately and rushed downstairs to share in my little one’s joy I rolled over and asked for another 5 minutes so I could properly wake up.

I was really surprised at WGO’s attitude. She showed me, and we oooed and aahed. I then told her that we needed to let them go, so they could fly and be free. I really thought she would be upset about this, but in fact, she thought it was a great idea and was very enthusiastic.

2 flew out right away, the third stayed as its’ wings weren’t properly dry.

I googled the butterfly and have so far been unable to identify it. On saying that, closer inspection of the antennae gives me the idea we are actually growing moths, not butterflies. I ran that by WGO and she was emphatic that they are butterflies because she doesn’t like moths, so butterflies they are.

It’s just one more week and the school term starts.

Things are just blissful at the moment, we sleep in til 8 ~ 8.30am, there is no pressure to go anywhere or do anything unless we want to. It is all just very relaxed and calm. Miserable rainy mornings have been spent with us all in my bed watching a DVD. We’ve been at the beach, had friends over to play, reinstated Fish and Chip Friday, (we invite people over, everyone brings their own Fish and Chips) I have already shared the work we have done on the property. Celtic Lad spent a couple of hours in town busking and earned $40 for his efforts.

The school term will see a 6.30 start to the day for me. I like to be up a wee bit before the kids to get myself awake and functioning. I hope to encorporate the Wii Fit into that. I must maintain that amazing physique I showed you the other day. 

The first week of cubs sees Celtic Lad graduate up to Scouts.  I received the email and I must admit to having a ‘moment.’ That one where I realise how fast he is growing, how far he has come since he was first diagnosed as being ‘on the Spectrum’, and how his twin isn’t beside him physically to share the experience.   **wipes leaky eyes**

We have done our planning meeting for the term. Celtic Lad has set a goal of learning more French and “going to France and speaking with the locals.” I think the first part will be achieved. However, I asked Jock for the $10,000 needed to fly us all to France and he said no.  I told him he obviously isn’t taking his son’s education seriously enough. He still said no. Oh well, I tried. Celtic Dingo has set a goal of learning more Gaelic. When I say ‘more’, he knows 2 phrases in Gaelic. Dún do bhéal (which means shut up or shut your mouth) and Póg mo Thóin (which means kiss my a***) I told him we won’t be learning anymore of those kind of phrases thank you very much. I saw his interest in the language wane. Yes, I know, if I was a truely passionate homeschooling Mum, I would encourage him. Though to be honest now, I don’t think you can truly call yourself Irish unless you can properly say Póg mo Thóin. If you want to learn how to say it, click here

I am so looking forward to a year of enjoyable experiences and learning.

While the Shamrock kids have been helping me outside, WGO has been finding caterpillars.

She was so excited when she found her first one and insisted on looking after it. We had an old mouse cage, so she is using that.  Then she found another….. and another…… AND another…….. AND ANOTHER………… I said no more, but there was an excuse for every one she just HAD to keep.

“This one is just a baby.”

“This one was on it’s own. It’s lonely. It NEEEEDS to be with the other caterpillars to make friends.”

“This one likes me.”

She put the mouse house in the cage and tried to put them all to bed in there and when they moved out, she would put them back in.  She put a small bowl of water in the cage telling me the caterpillars needed a ’swimming pool.’

I have dubbed the cage, “Caterpillar Mansion.”

Today, we went to put in fresh milkweed, and I decided I would count how many catgerpillars there are.

TWENTY !!!!!!! I kid you not, WGO, Mistress of Caterpillar Mansion has 20 caterpillars, 5 of which have already started to spin their crysalis.

WGO is very excited about it all and is proud of herself for saving the caterpillars who no doubt would have ended up as dinner for the chooks.

I have to admit to being rather excited about it all myself.

What do you think?

Ok, so I didn’t lose an eye, I have done something dodgy to my hand.

**Waits for comments of sympathy**

So, here I am, on my own personal Farmville, sun block on, skanky ‘working on the property clothes’ on, hair tied back in a ponytail (which is oh so flattering for my shaped face). Kids excited, out we go, weeding and picking up crap for the dump. Sweat is pouring off me, but I don’t care. Celtic Lad is telling WGO she has just levelled up in Farmville and telling me I have earned a blue ribbon. WGO is finding caterpillers galore and gently putting them in a spare cage we have (Oh, gee, thank goodness I didn’t get rid of all the spare animals cages around here), last count there were 11. She is all about putting a little mouse house in there so they can sleep in there and a bowl for a swimming pool, because caterpillers need a swimming pool, especially in this heat. Celtic Dingo is hitting bags of hardened concrete with a pick axe and thoroughly enjoying it. (It’s ok, I made sure he was wearing safety goggles)

I decide to get in some wood for an entrance way to our driveway off the private road, and go to Bunnings where once again, the lads there fall over themselves to help. (I was wearing the skody clothes and hair in a ponytail and I can still have them under my spell) I get home, pack the ute, drive down the driveway and set to making four post holes, each 600mm in depth. I have a manual post hole maker and have used it many a time, so am well versed with what I am doing.

It’s clay and gravel, so quite rocky, and I am turning and screwing away and pulling out the dirt and whacking the hole maker and shaking the dirt out of it when “OUCH !!!!!”  I must have hit it the wrong way and jarred my wrist. The base of my middle finger is hurting too, right on the joint. When I feel it, it has a huge lump on it.

Being the staunch independant woman that I am, I pack the gear up and go inside.

This morning when my neighbour builder came over to discuss work I am needing (including the digger, let’s not forget the digger) I shared with him my pain and asked him ever so sweetly to do the holes for me

They are done !!!

But my wrist still hurts and my finger joint is still sore, so sympathy comments would be welcomed.

Actual call centre conversations !!!!!

Customer:     ‘I’ve been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can’t get through to enquiries, can you help?’.
Operator:     ‘Where did you get that number from, sir?’.
Customer:     ‘It was on the door to the Travel Centre’.
Operator:     ‘Sir, they are our opening hours’.
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Samsung Electronics
Caller:          ’Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?’
Operator:     ‘I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand who you are talking about’.
Caller:          ’On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC  wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?’
Operator:      ’I think you mean the telephone point on the wall’.
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RAC Motoring Services
Caller:          ’Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?’
Operator:      ’ Doesn’t the product name give you a clue?’
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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ):
‘If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?’
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Directory Enquiries
Caller:               ‘I’d like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please’.
Operator:          ’I'm sorry, there’s no listing. Is the spelling correct?’
Caller:               ‘Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the ‘B’ fell off’.
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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator:        ’Woven? Are you sure?’
Caller:             ‘Yes. That’s what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland ‘.
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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
‘I haven’t got a pen, so I’m steaming up the window to write the number on’.
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Tech Support:      ’I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop’.
Customer:             ‘OK’.
Tech Support:      ’Did you get a pop-up menu?’.
Customer:             ‘No’.
Tech Support:      ’OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?’
Customer:             ‘No’.
Tech Support:      ’OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?’.
Customer:            ’Sure. You told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click”.
———————————————————————-
Tech Support:          ’OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the ‘OK’ button displayed?’
Customer:                 ‘Wow. How can you see my screen from there?’
———————————————————————-
Caller:  ’I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?’.
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There’s always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired.. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for ‘Termination without Cause’.
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator:         ‘Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?’
Caller:              ’Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.’
Operator:         ‘What sort of trouble??’
Caller:              ’Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.’
Operator:         ‘Went away?’
Caller:              ’They disappeared.’
Operator:         ‘Hmm So what does your screen look like now?’
Caller:              ’Nothing.’
Operator:         ‘Nothing??’
Caller:              ’It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.’
Operator:         ‘Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??’
Caller:              ’How do I tell?’
Operator:         ‘Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??’
Caller:              ’What’s a sea-prompt?’
Operator:         ‘Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?’
Caller:              ’There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.’
Operator:         ‘Does your monitor have a power indicator??’
Caller:              ’What’s a monitor?’
Operator:         ‘It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on??’
Caller:               ‘I don’t know.’
Operator:          ’Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??’
Caller:              ’Yes, I think so.’
Operator:         ‘Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.
Caller:              ’Yes, it is.’
Operator:         ‘When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??’
Caller:               ‘No.’
Operator:          ’Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.’
Caller:               ‘Okay, here it is.’
Operator:          ’Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.’
Caller:               ‘I can’t reach.’
Operator:          ’Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??’
Caller:               ‘No.’
Operator:          ’Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??’
Caller:               ‘Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle – it’s because it’s dark.’
Operator:          ’Dark??’
Caller:               ‘Yes – the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
‘ Operator:         ‘Well, turn on the office light then.’
Caller:               ‘I can’t.’
Operator:          ’No? Why not??’
Caller:               ‘Because there’s a power failure.’
Operator:          ‘A power……… A power failure? Aha, Okay, we’ve got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??’
Caller:               ‘Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.’
Operator:           ‘Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.’
Caller:                ’Really? Is it that bad?’
Operator:            ’Yes, I’m afraid it is.’
Caller:                 ‘Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??’
Operator:            ’Tell them you’re too stupid to own a computer!!!!!’

So it’s 2010.

A new year.

We have the Wii Fit, the big black dog is not hanging around and I am motivated.

So, I am exercising, eating less, eating well, using my low GI sheet, ensuring I take my metformin, working around the property (which must count for something), no longer the couch potato that I was becoming, well maybe not, but off my butt more and DOING things.

And in 3 weeks, I have gained 2.5 Kgs (Approx 5.5lbs) 

**Shakes head**

On a good note, I am getting better at Mario Kart and am sure I will be able to beat the kids at some stage.